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flowers for Desmond

Desmond died in July, and we'd been gone to Montana (etc) for two weeks right before that, so our vegetable garden was pretty much in ruins last summer. We decided to rip it all out and plant flowers instead. In the fall, we planted bulbs that would come up this spring, leaving space for annuals we can soon start from seed as the daffodils and tulips die away.

We have two large raised beds, plus another smaller one and other planting areas around the yard. In the large raised beds, we planted bulbs. We learned in previous years that our local squirrels love to dig up and eat tulip bulbs before they've sprouted, so after planting, we covered both beds with plywood. It disturbed me a little at first to see them all the time - like two caskets out there in the yard, reminding me of my son and my sister. However, when I started to think of it as a waiting game for resurrection, I didn't mind them so much. This is how they looked when we first uncovered them.

Our first bouquet was daffodils. I was going to give it to my mom, but decided to take them to my friend Angie's little girl's grave. Angie had to move several months ago and so I periodically go to Emily's grave, check to make sure it's being cared for, and leave decorations or flowers. I know I would want someone to do this for Desmond's grave if we ever have to move away.

Since then, we've given away lots of bouquets. I think I have lost count! One of our neighbors drove by, rolled down her window and yelled, "Your flowers are beautiful!" So the next day, we left a vase on her front porch. I took some to my doctor's office. I took some to my favorite librarian. And my mom. And a couple of friends. And we still have lots more to give away. Who doesn't enjoy getting flowers?

When the daffodils and tulips are done, I'll plant out our zinnias in between and in the other bed. We are putting up a fence soon and will have more planting space then (this is our side yard; that is our  neighbor's front yard/mailbox beyond the beds). I would like to learn how to grow roses. As much as I love gardening, and usually am reasonably successful at it, I am terrible at roses. 

Of course I'd much rather have my son than these flowers, but it helps us to remember him. It helps us to remember that happy beautiful things are still yet to come. It helps me personally to give to other people, to help them to feel a little bit happy.


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