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Showing posts from January, 2017

Jaby Update

Jacinda is 16 months old now. Her first year went by so fast, and now she's a third into her second already. She is a bundle of energy and curiosity that keeps us constantly on our toes. At her 12-month checkup, her doctor said her vocabulary is "what we hope to see by two years old." She talks a lot. I decided to start a list of words she says. These are words she says on her own without prompting, and doesn't include words she will mimic after we say them or her receptive language, which is a lot more words.

Mom/Mama
Dad/Daddeeeeeee
Ceecee (Lucy)
Tuma (Truman)
Pentsy (Penny)
Pencil
Wow
Oh (usually together, "Oh wow!")
Dog
Want
Cheese
Squeeze (GoGo Applesauce)
Milk
Cup
Baba (bottle/cup)
Chair
Bankit (blanket)
Eat
No
Go go go
Car
Outside
Pretty
Doll
Baby
Coat
Bear
Hat
Hair
Nose
Mouth
Eyes
Shirt
Pants
Socks
Shoes
Book
More
Down
Stairs
And
Frog
Woody
Roar!
Backpack (her favorite word)
Apple
Wawa (water)
Cat
Dory (from Nemo)
Teeth
Green
Lellow (yellow)
Yeee-ah…

love that has nowhere to go

Several months ago, someone shared with a card that said, "Grief is love with nowhere to go." As I've thought of that over and over again, I believe it is entirely true. Grief is not just sadness or depression. It's a constant presence of dark despair. It's a feeling of wanting to speak to or hold someone who just isn't there, and there seems no possible way to alleviate it in any other way. It leads to disturbing impulses like to dig up my baby's grave so that I can hold him again, or long for death so I can be with him again. The love needs a place to go.

Another thing I have thought about often is "For me, to live is Christ." I heard this on a song on the radio one day and didn't understand what it meant. I came home and googled the phrase - it's from Philippians - where Paul is writing and telling people that whether he lives or dies, Christ is glorified. He says (I am paraphrasing) that he would prefer to die because he'd be wit…