Yesterday was Desmond's... birthday? deathday? delivery day? I do not know what to call it. Anniversary doesn't seem right. I think we settled on just calling it Desmond's day.
We went camping this weekend. We were trying to distract ourselves, which sort of worked, but camping is a lot of work and pretty exhausting. Maybe next time we'll do something for relaxing.
A few days before his day, we went to the cemetery and released balloons and dragonflies and read a story and just spent time there. It was really nice.
I thought July 10 would be the worst, but the days leading up to it were much harder. On July 4 it was one year since I'd felt him move. On July 7 it was one year since finding out for sure that he had died. July 9 checking into the hospital. It was a macabre countdown in my mind. All of this compounded by the realization that I have cried every day for 365 days (plus) without fail. Not all day sobbing (some of those, yes) but at least some amount of cry…
I don't post much political stuff on this blog or even on Facebook. I figure, people have political opinions based on their own values and their own experiences, and reading someone else's will rarely change anything. I am, however, deeply disturbed by the way a particular issue is playing out in American politics right now, and so in addition to this blog post, I am sending letters and photographs to all of my elected officials to ask them to consider all angles of a topic rather than listening to one very vocal group who views all abortions as pure evil.
First, I have been a patient of Planned Parenthood in the past. As an uninsured college student and even un- and under-insured newlywed in my early 20s, a trip to the gynecologist for an annual exam plus a monthly prescription for birth control would have been far outside my financial means as I worked (sometimes part-time, often full-time) while going to school. Planned Parenthood's sliding fee scale meant I could have …
We didn't get any calls for foster placements for several weeks. It was starting to bother me - why not us? Then I saw on our local foster parent Facebook group a woman asking for respite care for her three little ones for a weekend. I could do that! She and I made arrangements to meet Friday at 3:30 after I picked up Lucy from school and we'd have the kids through Sunday afternoon, then Dave and I would be leaving to go see U2 and Beck in Indianapolis for MY BIRTHDAY.
Friday was going along just fine, and I had just gotten my purse and keys out so I could be ready to leave in a minute to pick up Lucy and the little foster kids. Jacinda was napping and Penny was playing on the computer. Truman had been jumping on the trampoline for about fifteen minutes. Suddenly, Truman screamed.
Not a 'ouch' scream.
The kind of scream that kicks your parental instinct into overdrive and you drop everything you are doing to run to the aid of that screaming child.